One & Wonderful: Rewriting the Story of "One and Done"

Written by: Kristine Page LCPC, LPC, PMH-C

Somewhere along the way, "one and done" became a phrase loaded with explanation.

It's said with a shrug.
A defensive smile.
A quiet brace for the inevitable follow-up:
"Oh... but don't you want another?"

As if family size is something we owe an explanation for.

But what if we rewrote the story?

What if "one and done" wasn't an ending to defend—but a life to celebrate?

What if it became:

One & Wonderful.

The Stories We Carry

For some families, the decision to have one child comes after birth trauma.

A body that remembers.
A nervous system that still carries the weight of what happened.
An experience that changed everything—not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically.

For others, it's a conscious decision rooted in finances, relationships, career goals, mental health, or simply the life they envision for themselves.

And sometimes there isn't a dramatic reason at all.

Sometimes the answer is simply:

"Our family feels complete."

Every one of those reasons is enough.

The Grief That Can Exist

If I'm honest, there are still moments when grief quietly shows up.

I see siblings laughing together or imagine what another little personality might have added to our family. There are moments when I wonder what could have been.

Those feelings are real.

But I've also realized that I can't live in a reality that doesn't exist.

I can't spend my life grieving the imaginary version of my family so much that I miss the beautiful one standing right in front of me.

A Day at the Pool

Recently, my son and I spent the afternoon at the pool.

He was absolutely living his best life—jumping off the diving board over and over again, racing to the slide with soaking wet feet, proudly showing me every jump as if it were the first one, and eventually sitting down with an ice cream sandwich that somehow managed to melt faster than he could eat it.

And I realized something.

I wasn't splitting my attention.
I wasn't chasing another toddler.
I wasn't feeding one child while trying to keep another from running into the deep end.

I was simply there.

Watching.
Laughing.
Cheering.
Being fully present.

There was something incredibly beautiful about giving him my undivided attention and truly soaking in those moments that pass by so quickly.

Could I imagine another child there? Of course.

Would there have been joy in that too? Absolutely.

But that isn't my reality.

My reality isn't one of constant absence or missing pieces.

My reality is that we are One & Wonderful.

Presence Over Comparison

Our culture often treats "one and done" as if there's an invisible "only" attached to it.

Only one child.
Only one birthday to plan.
Only one set of little footprints.

But I don't want my son growing up feeling like he's what we settled for or that our family is somehow incomplete.

He's not an "only."

He's our whole world.

And our family isn't waiting for someone else to arrive before it's worthy of celebration.

It's already whole.

Rewriting the Narrative

Maybe it's time we stop saying "one and done" with an apologetic tone.

Maybe we stop framing our families by what's absent.

Maybe we start celebrating what's abundantly present.

The love.
The memories.
The healing.
The intentionality.
The laughter at the pool.
The sticky fingers from melted ice cream sandwiches.
The uninterrupted conversations.
The quiet moments of simply getting to watch our child become exactly who they are.

Sure, there will always be moments of wondering.

But there are far more moments of gratitude.

And that's the story I want to tell.

Not that we're missing someone.

But that we are, and always will be,

One & Wonderful.